Monday, 9 May 2016

"What is your name?" "I don't know."

Even since my young age I've been extremely introverted. I remember times I used to react by lifting my shoulders all the time like "can't you see it's totally obvious" while seeking help of my parents to answer for me. All the simple questions such as how old I was or what my name was... I didn't want to answer. I was really shy and well... introverted. Those were my kindergarten years. I refused to talk to anyone, occasionally I'd answer with one word for the satisfaction of my surroundings. I was totally fine with that. I was afraid of basically everything. Human interaction, dogs. Yeah those two mainly.

As years passed by it slightly started getting better. It was still incredibly bad though. In primary school I started answering all the question of course. I wouldn't start talking on my own out of the blue but at least I wouldn't stay silent. The main problem that time was the fact I couldn't stand up for myself and defend myself or express my own opinion. I was the grey mouse noone really knew was present in the room. It was totally fine by me. At least that's what I thought. I had one friend. Yes, one. A friend of mine I used to go to kindergarten with moved out and I found another one. Little did I know that it wasn't really much of a friend. Still it was the only person I talked to each and every day. We sat together at a desk in a classroom. Both of us were quite "shy" and not talkative. But ofc, times change. She, my friend, found a new friend. They got along pretty well. She was the cool kid in my class, the exact opposite of myself. Talkative, pretty, tall, blonde and everyone loved her. As well as my friend. At first I thought it's gonna be okay. I used to hang out with both of them during pause, I used to go out to play with them, I attended all of their birthday parties... But I wasn't really part of their "group" You know, three girls can't possibly be friends. There's always someone left out. And the someone's always been me. I started realizing something was wrong at some point but I chose to ignore it. Probably because I refused to see the truth.

To noone's surprise they started bullying me. They probably didn't realize they were as well as I didn't. She, the popular one, would try to count me out of every activity they were doing. They were small things such as taking my seat next to my friend and arguing with me she has the right to sit there because "she'd been here first". They didn't want me to sit with them during lunch time either and I ended up sitting on my own and because of the fuss they made all children could hear it. And I could hear them giggling at my misfortune. Ofc they made up some kind of excuse not to be with me such as "it's a top secret matter" etc... Finally I'd start to give up and mind my own bussines, eating my snack at the desk alone making no noice pretending I'm not there. I remember their accomplice, another popular girl in my class I didn't like, making all the remaining people applaud at how I "finally stopped kissing their asses and bothering them by talking to them" the worst thing about that was that I accepted that insult and act of bullying just because I still hoped I could have friends... No I couldn't. They wouldn't stop trying to get rid of me...yet they had the courage to tell me they wanted to be friends.

At birthday parties I noticed they'd always exchange bigger presents. I know it sounds pathetic when I think about it. I wasn't jealous. I was just really disappointed every time I tried to do a good party for my... friends. I probably shouldn't have minded that but little me cared and noticed such small things. However, never said anything. Eventually, the blonde went to another school and things got... better? My "friend" started to be friends with me and some other people, but we still sat in one desk and talked together the most... I was too stupid to tell her off for the deception of me... People thought we were best friends but she couldn't ever be for me anymore.  I still don't know if she knew what she'd done or not... I will never know but I don't care anymore. We aren't seeing each other. The end of primary school ended all my relationships with those people I hated seeing every day.

By the end of primary school I met quite a lot of people online. In fact I was meeting people as I started  a blog in my mother tongue at the age of like... 13, 14? The time I started being a "proper otaku" and started going to anime conventions. Also I made a twitter account almost 6 years ago which was the time I only cared about anime... Those things really don't tend to help you with your social interaction problems but at least I´d feel like I belong somewhere and I knew there are people who are similar to me, have the same hobbies and so on. I always enjoyed talking to this kind of people, naturally.

I'm currently attending a highschool. I can't say things have changed because they never will. Not completely.  You can't just change your personality throughout the night. One thing I can say for sure is that I  have changed a bit. As expected, huh. I'm no longer completely afraid of telling my opinions. I'm also not the crybaby who is not talking to strange people I used to be. I can stand up for myself and I'm not trying to get attention of people I don't like. Instead I completely ignore them because they are not worth my energy or brain cells. Sure, there are people I know who are talking behind my back. They make fun of me because I watch anime. But that's alright. I know those people are just bored of their life, probably a sad one too, they are nothing but casuals gossiping everyone including themselves among their group of special people. And gurl I'm better than them :) I just smile and say to myself "fk you have a nice day" I no longer tremble while talking to strange people though I still have issues shopping and ordering things as I need to tell myself all I want to say and practise what I actually want to say. I still can't bring up a topic to talk about in a situation of awkward silence but I'm getting better. I am trying hard not to be a nuisance for people and be an easy-going person.

I still talk just very occasionally as there's little people and things worth my commentary. I like to listen instead. I'm pretty good at observing things around me therefore I know things they don't. I'm cleverer than people as my bullies were. I can read the atmosphere and choose not to say anything. I am a good listener and I am here for people in need. I am here for my friends and as long as they need me that's fine by me. I chose them as my friends and they chose me as their friend too. As long as they are willing to stay I'm happy. I don't care about people that don't care about me.

I'm still relatively young. (for some people I might be a kid) Every day is a lesson and everytime I get beaten down I get up and contine as a better me. I walk the path to my final form, where at the end will greet me a fully grown fearless me. That's what I wish to achieve. I've came a long way to be who I am now and I believe it will be better and better only.

The all time anthem of mine

Friday, 6 May 2016

Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress

...a.k.a the clone of Shingeki no Kyojin. The anime that spread as a virus and let other non-fanatical people cringe at ech and every cosplay of people with a bondage fetish with gears.

Woa woa stop. I didn't want to make a review  of Shingeki no kyojin. Today I wanted to focus on a new anime, currently airing, has 4 episodes and its name is Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress

Well I don't intend to make this a full review since it's not completely finished yet as I said it's still airing. Here I am with a first impression insted:

So far I've seen all 4 episodes which aired to this day. I don't even know why I started watching it to be honest. I guess I had way too much to watch and was not in a mood to watch any of those I currently watch together with this one so as usually, thank you brain, I started a new anime \o/ I searched for anime of 2016 in my list of marked anime as "want to watch" in case there is a good one I can watch as it airs and this particular anime had way too good ratings for something with 2 episodes at that time :D

I wonder what will be the storyline of this anime. From what I've seen:
1.) it's way too similar to Shingeki no Kyojin as I mentioned a few lines back. This fact probably had the biggest impact on ratings. People assume it's going to be something like Shingeki, an anime they all adore and love (let me clarify this: I have nothing against SnK, I enjoyed it myself. I just don't understand the fuss around it and the fandom is just crazy. /what fandom isn't actually/ but that's okay, other people probably wouldn't understand my obsession for sports anime) I'm not saying the story is similar. It's just the idea and the animation (the power or the same studio) and the coolness of this anime. It has a lot of similar features.

2.) The thing with this animation: Is it just me or did we really return to 2000 anime animation :D If you modernize it a bit, it's possible to see similar features to Hellsing a bit. If you ask me I am glad this happens because I liked the older animation. These days it's... oh well it IS nice, but the details are missing and I just don't know sometimes it's very ew.

3.) Back to the storyline. So far I'm still wondering what should I expect. At the beginning there's a village attacked by Kabane(s) which are something as zombies, kinda similar to titans as they have just one spot that can kill them for good. They are usually very stupid blood drinking and human eating creatures although more intelligent ones are starting to appear. (again, Shingeki) We are watching a story of a teenage (?) boy who is trying to invent a gun which would be effective in a fight against Kabanes. I have to mention that the situation with Kabanes goes like this: Noone explained where they come from, what do they want, how come there is so many of them (because it's -again- kinda Shingeki-like, they just time to time appear in a large group attacking humans) we know nothing. One thing we do know is that by biting people they infect them and they start to turn into Kabanes too which causes a huge panic and all the people seem to have this self-destruction bomb in case they are turning into Kabanes. Thanks to all that, people are very paranoid and if they think someone is Kabane, they just kill him at the spot. Being Kabane or not. Well, it's all fun fun fun :D
Later on people escape on some sort of a train running away from Kabanes who attacked and destroyed the village. Stuff happens.*SPOILER* the main character gets bitten and starts to turn into Kabane but he manages to stop it by his head (I still wonder how did he not hang himself) and turns into Kabaneri, something between Kabane and human. *THE END OF SPOILER*
I get the feeling that this train's journey will be basically the main plot of this anime. I hope not. But so far it really does look like it. We'll see.

4.) Can we talk about how is the soundtrack incredibly good?

It's composed by Hiroyuki Sawano, who made the soundtrack of Shingeki no Kyojin or Owari no Seraph, Guilty Crown, Ao no Exorcist, Seven deadly sins and other... I think you understand now :D it's just eargasm. Remember me saying I don't usually pay attention to soundtrack? Well this one is impossible to miss.It gives me chills all the time.

5.) "I will save you all. I want you to live the rest of your lives knowing the man you abandoned saved you and I will laugh at you from the afterlife and tell you that it serves you right" <--- my favourite scene. It's very anti-heroic and amazing.

To sum up: I'm not overly hyped for this anime, although I can say I will continue watching it because I'm just simply curious if this will fullfil my expectations or not. I expect it to be good, it has potential even though some people might be labeling it as "just a clone of SnK". We'll see~ ^^

Thursday, 5 May 2016

Bakemono no Ko (The Boy and the Beast)


...uhmmmm no not that long ago actually.
The 11th July 2015, that's the airing date of this movie. I'm roughly a year late but w/e.

It's been 6 days since I've seen this movie at an anime con I participated in aaaaaaaaand I've got a few things to say so let's label this article as something-as-a-review because I'm kinda rubbish at reviews mainly because I can't be much of a critics. I guess I'm just too generous or just undemanding. Or maybe I enjoy too many things without searching for a fault (in our stars)


This article is spoiler free

Producers: Dentsu, Yomiuri Telecasting Corporation, Kadokawa Shoten, Toho Company, Nippon Television Network Corporation
Licensors: FUNimation Entertainment
Studios: Studio Chizu
Source: Original
Genres: Adventure, Supernatural
Duration: 1 hr. 58 min.
Rating: PG-13 - Teens 13 or older (this is so funny)

*shamelessly copied from*

As you may have noticed, this movie was done by a Studio Chizu. One million dollar question: What other movie do you know from this studio? *drum roll* yup yup It's Wolf Children aka Ookami Kodomo no Ame to Yuki (if you don't know this movie, please revoke your otaku card, thank you,) FINALLY after 4 years another art piece from this studio came, yaaaay. /because like it or not, Wolf Children is an amazing movie and a classics/

To tell you the truth, I didn't know what I was signing to by waiting in a line an hour in a cold outside a projection hall at 8:30 pm. I didn't know anything about this movie back then, I just saw some posters and it looked good so I was like hell yeah why not. The result? I regret nothing.

The plot of this movie is kinda simple. A very very young boy child (9) is left on the streets having noone to live with or take care of him. He hates the world. He cries. But then *badum ts* a random stranger passing by sees him and decides he has a potential, that there's something in his eyes screaming that. Potential for what exactly though? To become his disciple as it so happened that this one particular individual is one of two candidates for a new ruler. The stranger invites this young boy to join him on his way home but once his face is revealed, boy gets scared as this stranger's face is not human. Yup. They come from the world of monsters. Now don't get it wrong, you won't find zombies and dragons in this particular world. In fact it's a very nice place with a lot of nice monsters. Really. However, stranger doesn't have time to waste and before our young boy manages to decide and recover from a shock he received, the stranger's gone. Skipping a few scenes, boy runs away from the human world and ends up in the other world where non-human creatures live. DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING DID YOU. Time goes on and Kyuuta, our young boy grows in his newly found home  to be a fine young man with a clumsy and lazy couch potato monster named Kumatetsu for a teacher. But who exactly is teaching whom? Kyuuta seems to have quite a talent and these two end up helping each other. But will be Kumatetsu able to win against his older and experienced rival and become a new ruler?

Oh look! What a nice and calming movie~~!
Hell no. I can assure you things will go down and deep and you will be sitting in your chairs nervous not knowing what could happen any minute. Yeah. This movie is indeed very nice and funny. But if you watch Japanese anime movies, you should already know you MUST expect it to drammatically change and send you and your expectation of happy ending flying. Not implying that this has a sad ending... well depends on your point of view but I won't spoil anything I promise.

The story is focused on the main relationship between Kyuuta and Kumatetsu and it's lovely to watch as a child with no family accepts Kumatetsu not just as a teacher but also as a father. The create a strong bond.

Let's play spot the difference!

Yup. The first picture is Kyuuta, the second one comes from Wolf Children. Literally the one thing that was punching me the whole time was how incredibly similar this was to Wolf Children. I mean it's pretty obvious, right? Same Studio means the same animation and stuff. The characters were identical too. I can't help it, it's just kinda ridiculous and uhhh... mhm. I like it though! I'm not complaining just it's a bit strange for me. As I started watching this I recognized the animation immediately and that's when I thought DAMN. This is going to be a feel train. I wasn't wrong either.
(^on a scale from 1 to 10 how proffesional was this paragraph? :"D)

The soundtrack was pretty too. I don't usually pay attention to soundtracks that much, but if I ever get chills I can tell that's some quality soundtrack chosen to be in the right place in the right time and that's all that matters.

To point out a few things I didn't like about this movie: (there are some)
Somewhere near the end they suddenly started a "romance" of Yuuta and a certain girl he met which I think was unnecessary and overall very quick and half-assed. The second thing I couldn't digest was the ending. Towards the end it is all pretty much rushed. The animation gets beautiful as fk, but that's it. Too rushed endings are the worst and ruiin the whole thing ;; (not to mention the end itself wasn't one I'd like. I wished it would end up differently)

But yeah. My final rating is high anyway. It's funny, it's serious, it's emotional, the animation is pretty. I'd give it about 8/10 and say it is worth watching.

Have a trailer:

Sunday, 8 November 2015

Why School Sucks


It's been a while~
I'm here today because there's a thing that bothers me and doesn't let me sleep in peace.

It's school.

WARNING: (this might take a while so take something to eat, maybe drink and make sure you are sitting in a comfy position. Oh also it's kinda boring and full of facts so if you are not interested, you are free to leave. If you want to learn something new, continue)

Yeah yeah I know what you're thinking. Another typical teenager not taking school seriously, who wants to party all day long and so on. Typical image.
That's not entirely true.

Sure, I have many (not really useful) things I'd rather do than study for school. (Like playing games, procrastinating and tweeting on Twitter.)
But that's not really the reason why I chose to write a few things about school today.

Rather than the fact that I (actually don't) have to go to school, sit there since early morning (the school starts at 7, 8 or 9) for 6 to 9 hours straight and listen to teachers talking about things and take notes it's the school systen in my country that irritates me.

Let me introduce our school system first:

In my opinion the best part of life is the time you spend with your parents or grandparents as a kid, meaning the time before you are inevitably tossed into the void of compulsory school attendance. In my country that means you are free for 6 years. Then, based on our lovely laws, you just have to attend school. (if you were born after September in which the school year starts, /you'd be 5 when going to school then/ you can but don't have to go the next year. (as in my case happened))

So you are 6, an innocent child expected to sit for 4 or 5 hours in something called primary school daily. Weekends are free.

The primary schools mean 9 years (this thing might sound a bit odd for people from other countries. I know it differs a lot depending on the country) of compulsory school attendance during which you are told the basics of knowledge important for your future.

If you asked me, I'd told you those are the only important years spent in school. Why?

At the end of primary school you are about 15 years old, but are expected to decide your own future already.

You can either stop going to school and search for a job or you can continue your further studies at something we call "middle school" which is basically a highschool for most countries.

Start working? Impossible.
This answer has a very simple explanation: Life's very hard and tough. In my country it's basically impossible to find a job in your 20s, there's not enough work possibilities. Not to mention you are forbidden to work with money till you are 18. And on top of that, not many eployers are interested in hiring such a young kid with the most basic education and no experience.

So, middle school/highschool sounds as the only possible solution, right?
It certainly is better to continue your studies for another 4 years. (or 2, but that's kinda rare)

There are two types of highschools in our country.
First let's say a general school which we call "gymnázium" /German people should know/ It used to be the "better," the more prestigious type of school where only the clever kids could get to. I'd say it's not like that anymore. I don't want to degrade this type of school, it still not so easy to get to one.
You need to pass the entrance exam, have good marks and a good arithmetic mean tooHere you study all the basics from primary school into more details, basically.

Then the second type is a highschool that aims at a specific discipline. (medicine, industry, cookery, law etc)

What is so tricky about it?
If you choose the first general school, because you have no idea at the age of 15 what you want to do when you grow up, as most people don't, you may discover it during your studies. That means you already know what you want to do, but more than half the subjects you are now forced to study are completely useless for your future (in most cases it's like 3,4 out of 13). Yet you still kinda have to study and graduate (at least you can choose the subject to graduate) Till then you are just surviving through.

If you are that good and know what you want to do and choose a school aimed at a specific discipline, it's not always guaranteed you will still be interested in the same field for the 4 remaining years. (those are the luckier people who are)

What gets on my nerves is also the fact that our school system works in sort of a way that you just study for tests and that's all. Everything is for the sake of exams and passing. You have to remember things for them but after it's over you are free to forget it. That makes it all meaningless and a waste of time and energy.

After highschool there are universities which are in my opinion important as much as primary school.

What about me then?
You probably found out what type of school I am attending, didn't you?
It's the first one.
And as I stated the example of finding a field you want to study further, that's exactly what happened to me.
I'm now in my 3rd year out of 4 of highschool and I am fed up with it. I am not interested in most of the subjects I have to study. It's boring and I have no willpower to do much for school anymore. Ofc this affects my marks which are worse and worse and I don't feel good about it. But at the same time I'm trying to tell myself it's not important anyway...

So yeaah no wonder I am sick and tired of it all, I want to drop school  but I can't really. Education in this age is everything. It's sad but that's the truth. You want to be someone? You want to achieve something? You want to have a good job? Family? Money? Then study study and study as hard as you can as much as you can till you break apart. Then work hard in your job and be useful to the society. You might be able to afford a nice holiday with your family, a big house and you can finally live your life to the fullest (in your free days ofc. Which you will get just a little, you need to work.)

What exactly is the meaning of it all?

Maybe I'm getting too far (my habit) and a bit off topic, so I might write more next time.

See you soon, Yun.

Thursday, 20 August 2015

A Brief Introduction


*sweats nervously*

Welcome, stranger! ( ̄^ ̄)ゞ


You are one of the luckier people in the world but you don't know it yet *giggles* You just came to my little lair where everything's possible and the dreams meet reality. *dramatic music playing in the backgroud* Yup. Interested yet? Good.

Let me introduce myself.
You can call me Yuna. I'm a random little female dwarf living and hiding in the shadows of trees of the Central Europe and living my life in piece peace with the surroundings. I'm friendly and cat loving. I speak a very ancient language far too different from English, so please bear with me. *bows* ^^ I sing odes to a dark brown liquid, which I drink every day. I watch animated series which uneducated and foolish people mistakenly call cartoons. I enjoy watching British series too. I like doing nothing in my little room by myself as much as the next door hobbits do. My hobbies are pretty simple. Except for doing nothing and patiently waiting for a next episode of one of my favourite shows I also draw and write stories in my free time. (But that's not worth mentioning) When I'm not busy with this strange educating system my parents tossed me into and my country forced me to go to. I have a very few friends, but that's alright. I always welcome new wanderers into my lair open-armed.

 Don't be shy and come in~

I will post diary writings, reviews and my (for sure very right) opinions on certain topics which can and hopefully will come to my mind at a concrete moment.

See you next time~